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Homo sayswhaticus, by Lance Manion
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With this newest collection of irreverent short stories Manion once again asks the reader to get off the bench and into the game as he dishes out laughs, offense and even a few poignant moments. There is no point to be made here. Only the hope that somewhere amidst all the run-on sentences, unnecessary profanity and poor grammar, readers will come away with some unique thoughts of their own. Perfect reading for artists, commuters and people who spend an inordinate amount of time on the toilet. This is his fourth collection of short stories and frankly we're just as surprised as anyone that he is continuing to write them. But here it is. It helps if you have a good imagination. That's not to imply that we think if you don't enjoy it then you don't have a good imagination. It's certainly not a litmus test for creativity. All we're saying is that it doesn't hurt if you're a little off. If you're looking for us to try and talk you into it than I think you've clearly overestimated our interest in your reading it. But having said that, if you've already invested this much time in reading the description what's the worst that could happen if you gave it a shot? Exactly. You've been warned.
- Sales Rank: #4698601 in Books
- Published on: 2013-05-16
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .47" w x 6.00" l, .62 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 206 pages
About the Author
Lance Manion is the author of five short story collections. He contributes to many online flash fiction sites and blogs daily on his eponymous website. He finds the na at the end of banana as annoying as you would if it were bananana.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Random Randy Ramblings
By Heather L. Alexander
I was given this book in return for an honest review. Wow, this book is hilarious, but if you are offended by off color humor, take a pass and don't bother reading my review. I loved the fact that this book jumps from one random topic to another. Brushing teeth, itches, the Iditarod, hippo's, Movie snacks, sex, sports, lemon drops, the economy, and so on. You get the idea. Each of these Random Ramblings will make you laugh, or at least snicker. Full of offensive hillariousness, yes I made up that word, but it applies to this book completely. "I have to admit the picture in my head of two little legs sticking straight out of a steaming hippopotamus turd is both sad and hysterical." or "If brushing my teeth felt like jerking off, you wouldn't even be able to look at my face when I smiled, for fear of being blinded." If you want an easy read, that you can pick up and put down whenever you need a good laugh, this is definitely the book for that.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Incredible book!!
By Tab
Holy hell. After reading this clearly ADHD, OCD, and perhaps bipolar (but who am I to judge?) authors' work, I must confess that I have a legitimate craving to read more. Almost in the way your mom tells you not to date the scary looking dude with a mohawk & tattoos, but she's "out of date" and just doesn't get it. 10 years and 5 kids later you wonder what happened to your life, and perhaps wonder if you should have listened to your mother. But-oh, this isn't about me. This is about THIS book.
I loved this book. Couldn't put it down. Couldn't stop from chuckling (ok, sometimes snorting) loudly at work (which usually gets scornful looks. Eff em.) Couldn't stop rolling with laughter while driving in the car (I don't recommend that-the cops didn't find is as amusing as I did). Couldn't stop reading various passages out loud to random strangers (which also would gain scornful looks, and one restraining order threat. Haters.)
And all joking aside, the passages were very succinct, clear and well written. I suppose you have to have a brain that flows that way in order to understand the "way" its written. But if you don't get it, then you perhaps never will. This book-ahhh, I felt things. Very moving and very powerful things. I could laugh hysterically while reading one story, then the next I was bawling like a baby for nearly 20 minutes. Damn-need a warning on those. I won't spoil it for the other readers as to how or why. But to Mr. Manion, sincerely- thank you. Thank you for reminding me that life is just a bunch of short stories all compiled together, never really here nor there. There are good ones and bad ones. Funny and sad. I'm just one person, but I am very happy to have found your work. Thank you~
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
This isn't more insane than the world. No, really!
By Roddy Dryer
The world of today is beyond crazy, with our political process at its most corrupt and the citizenry everywhere, particularly our most vulnerable and innocent, on the brink of calamity and potential harm every moment, the world needs, no, REQUIRES, some occasional relief from the madness. Lance Manion, because of these needs, comes across as a veritable hero.
Yes, people. Lance Manion is a modern hero of these days and times. With his irreverent wit, unique observations of what takes place daily, and possessing an unusual amount of knowledge about women who, well, you know, his latest installment of the genius of Manion, Homo Sayswhaticus, is absolutely indispensable. These blessedly pointless and uplifting diatribes are the perfect panacea required by a people on the edge of the Zombie Apocalypse.
The individual citizens are so uptight that their backsides are more watertight than that of the average giant squid. You see, I chose the deep sea squid because they go deep in the water and therefore the pressure is, well, just go with me on this, people, and calm down. The point is, people need, just need to loosen up before the world takes seriously yet another rambling from some North Korean hotshot. Hey, just like Bieber sings in his song...Shove me back into the shallow waters before I get too deep...
Okay, I know Bieber didn't sing that, but I like random mentioning of people who are famous for mysterious reasons. Kardashian! There, I did it again. But the point remains that Manion helping us remain in the shallows with his quirky points of view, along with the fact that we must all admit that, yes, we, too, are tired of brushing our teeth all the time.
Do you see where we're going here? For the love of all that's good in the world, what does it take? People, you need to read Homo Sayswhaticus for the very safety of the future of the world! In fact, buy gobs of copies and send them to dictators, politicians, and the WBC. Because, wow, oh, wow, do these people need to lighten up! And don't just read this work, but all of Manion's books, blogs, and even his diary, too. Because we need to teach this world to get off the high horse, stop being such a bunch of weenies, and have a good, fun laugh once in a while.
Or are you one of those wacky nutjobs who thinks it makes sense that TV shows advertise their own show during their own show? If you are, there's still hope, but wow do you have a long, long way to go.
For the world containing the highest population of criminally insane doofuses, there is hope and the doctor is in.
The doctor of the cure of pointless mania is Lance Manion, and he's on the job.
Lance Manion, for these reasons, is a veritable superhero, my friends. He is a superhero and I so can't wait to see him in tights that I am almost in pain from the anticipation. But you good people don't require the pain; just read the works of Lance Manion and experience the sensation of fun and relaxation at your own pace. But hurry it up, will you? This planet can't take much more.
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